why didn't you poke me back
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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