See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
