he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
