shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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