Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
