was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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