I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
