:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
