My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
