love makes seman taste better
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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