told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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