Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
