I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
