So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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