Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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