So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
