i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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