my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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