i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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