so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
