Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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