Define "chronic" masturbator.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
