I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
