are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Who died my cat blue again?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
