is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
