Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Randomize
