Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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