I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is wine microwaveable?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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