I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
