I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
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I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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