She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
