His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
