Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
