I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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