The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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