I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
