I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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