the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
