so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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