i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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