White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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