So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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