We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
