Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
