Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
