cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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