Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
