So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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