kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
