so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize