i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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