you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
