I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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