I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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