I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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