This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
