she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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