I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
