he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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