I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
