Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
accomplished twins. life is a go
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize